A Little Morning Inspiration

I woke up this morning around 4:00 am, I began my day thinking "Oh great, now I'm going to be tired all day". It has taken a turn, I am feeling inspired to create art with words. Today will be the perfect day for writing and letting creative energy flow. This year is gonna be good and FULL of creative energy. I want to create more and advance my writing skills, so that hopefully some day in the future I can get published or something cool like that. I want to share my writing with people. The poem I want to share is a little more personal and "darker" themed.

untitled 11/2/2018

my life moves in slow motion
i'm sitting at my dorm room desk
all i can hear is the fan-
in constant-
motion-

my roommate comes in
"hey! she says
i sit silently
any slight movement of my facial muscles-
and the heavy dams that hold my tear ducts shut-
would fall in shame and let the ever
growing river-
flow-
in constant motion-

my roommate tries to pry
"what's wrong?" she questions me
i try to speak-
but all that comes out is cries-
not of a newborn baby-
a helpless cry
from a helpless "adult"

i cry,
because the muscles that held my world
up-
have torn to shreds
and fallen from my bones-
i cry,
because the bones that tried to hold that
world up-
were all too brittle
and have fallen to the floor-

i cry,
because it is the fifth day
i haven't been able to do much of
anything-
i haven't showered-
i've hardly eaten-
i've had the throne to myself-
and the last day-
almost passeth.

i'm still at my desk-
all i hear is the constantly repeated
words-
the voice in my head saying "it's too
much-
make it stop"
i try to fight it,
but this round was unkind.

i try to stand up-
hold my world upon my shoulders,
but it comes crashing to the ground-
again,
but clear on top of me
i am crushed-
no longer waiting for myself to be ready,
but more willing than ever to
push-
through-
the light.

-Kait